Charlie returns to the Crow Reservation in Montana

Out west in south-central Montana, where river valleys, rolling grasslands, and rugged mountain ranges converge, Charlie’s earliest memories were formed. Here, the traditions of the Apsáalooke (Crow) people were nurtured and carried forward. As a boy growing up on the Crow Reservation, this was the culture that deeply shaped Charlie’s identity.

“My mother was Crow, and my dad was Irish,” Charlie explained. “My siblings and I were prouder of our Native heritage than our Irish heritage.”

Balancing between two worlds

One of 16 children born to the same two parents, Charlie experienced prejudice both on and off the reservation.

“I wasn’t really accepted … They called us ‘high-tone Indians’ on the reservation. When I moved off the reservation in the fifth grade, we were looked at as freaks. It was harder in town than on the reservation,” Charlie remembered.

As he grew older, his sisters noticed his natural talent for hair care and encouraged him to attend beauty school in Billings. The Crow Nation, to which he remained connected even after moving off the reservation, supported Charlie financially as he trained to be a hairstylist.

The years that followed remain in Charlie’s memory as some of the brightest of his life. He built a successful career as a hairdresser, thanks to the Crow tribe that believed in him. He worked his way up to owning two salons in Billings and earned recognition in a high-fashion styling competition. Later on, he moved to Denver to take a job at a JCPenney hair salon.

Living with loss

Alongside an established career, Charlie’s life was marked by much grief and loss. As members of his large family passed away—most of whom still lived on the reservation—Charlie was not usually able to travel back to Montana for family funerals.

Then, in the 1990s, Charlie learned that his best friend Mark was dying of AIDS. Charlie moved to Indianapolis to care for Mark during a time when stigma surrounding the virus left many patients to suffer alone. For seven months, Charlie served as Mark’s caregiver, advocate, and constant companion, remaining by his side until he died.

“His death deeply affected me. We shared everything with each other, and his relatives remain close friends of mine,” Charlie shared. “Losing friends and family has been the most challenging part of my life.”

At 79 and living on a very limited income, Charlie is isolated in a small apartment in Denver, where his main source of joy comes from walking his neighbor’s dogs. His only two living siblings are in Billings, and he had been unable to visit them for eight years. And though he’s dreamed of reconnecting with his Crow heritage back in Montana, he didn’t think his 1986 Crown Victoria was reliable enough to make the drive. Wish of a Lifetime stepped in to allow Charlie to return to his roots.

Celebrating history and heritage

Wish of a Lifetime coordinated Charlie’s travel to coincide with the Crow Fair Pow Wow and Parade—one of the largest gatherings of Indigenous people in the U.S. While there, he was welcomed back by old friends and extended family as if no time had passed.

Back in Denver, as an added bonus, a Wish of a Lifetime volunteer took Charlie to see the Indigenous Arts of North America collection at the Denver Art Museum, which featured art made by one of his cousins. Charlie made an Indigenous belt buckle for the Wish of a Lifetime staff member that coordinated his wish and sent it to him after returning home. Using a traditional Crow method, Charlie tied a knot after every third bead so that it would not fall apart of the string happened to break. For the backing, he attached the buckle to authentic buckskin (deer hide).

At a point in Charlie’s life when his social circle has grown smaller, returning to the Crow Reservation gave him a renewed sense of connection to both loved ones and his Native roots. Now, when thoughts of grief and loss creep in, he has new memories to ease the pain.