At age 97, Mary has lived through profound losses and countless moments that demanded perseverance. And though moments of heartbreak began early in her life and continued throughout it, so too did many moments of great joy.
Born in Kansas, Mary’s mother died of rheumatic fever just one week after she was born. A busy legislator who was unprepared to raise a baby on his own, Mary’s father hired a live-in caretaker to watch his only child. The caretaker remained with Mary until she reached adulthood; her father never took an active role in raising her.
Nonetheless, Mary impacted countless lives as she grew, building a legacy of love, strength, unwavering dedication to her family, and continued care for others.
“God has given me so much energy that I just want to give back,” Mary said.
A history of caring for others
Trained as an Intensive Care Unit (ICU) registered nurse, Mary earned her PhD and became a nurse educator, working at both University of Colorado and University of Denver. After being appointed dean of a struggling nursing program in Pueblo, Colorado, she successfully transformed and revitalized it.
In post-war Vietnam, Mary witnessed firsthand the dire state of medical care, and her advanced nursing skills became even more essential. It was common that she saw two patients sharing a single bed, as well as a lack of proper hygiene and medical equipment. Nurses were forced to work without gloves. While there, Mary advised on proper procedures and tools needed when caring for the sick and injured, which significantly improved the quality of care. She visited Vietnam for two to three weeks at a time, and while her housing and meals were covered, she received no payment for her expertise.
Throughout her exemplary nursing career, Mary considered her most significant achievement to be raising her four children and ensuring they always felt loved. Years later in the 1990s, when all her children were adults, she surprised each with custom photo albums filled with years of memories.
Loss and renewal
Mary’s marriage to her children’s father lasted nearly 40 years, but when he left the family, Mary had to start over. She found love again with her second husband—a wonderful man who adored her and her children. But their time together was cut short when he passed away from leukemia after just a few years.
More than a decade passed before Mary found love again with a lifelong friend from her church, Jim, who had built her family home years before. Their relationship blossomed into a loving marriage, and Mary developed an especially close relationship with Jim’s granddaughter, Annie. Then three years ago, in his 90s, Jim passed away from a stroke.
After Jim’s death, despair seemed to creep in to Mary’s daily life, despite her children’s visits and her efforts to stay active. The move from her home to an assisted living facility was another painful adjustment, as her home was a treasure trove of memories. As financial constraints required her to downsize even further into a smaller place, Mary felt like she was losing pieces of herself.
“Getting old is not for sissies,” Mary reflected. “I don’t want to fall into the isolation trap that some people do as they age, so I am intentional about volunteering and joining groups.”
But staying active could not quell the loss of connection she felt for Jim and his family. Annie, who lives in New Orleans, had visited often while Jim was alive, and was even there to celebrate his 91st birthday. But since Jim’s funeral, Mary hadn’t been able to see Annie in person.
A wish to reconnect
Mary longed to see Annie once again as a way to remain connected to her late husband. Wish of a Lifetime was honored to help Mary foster connections by sending her on a trip to visit Annie in New Orleans.
Accompanied by her son, Laine, and with her other children joining on their own, the trip began with a tour of the town where Annie and her extended family live—the close-knit community of Abita Springs, just over 30 miles from New Orleans. The following days were filled with exploring the vibrant sights and sounds of New Orleans’ French Quarter and surrounding areas, followed by a large dinner that included Mary’s children as well as Annie’s extended family. A highlight was getting to celebrate Annie’s daughter’s 8th birthday, at which her siblings played musical instruments.
“Physically, all the walking we did was good for me,” Mary remembered. “I felt great the entire trip in the warm embrace of family, and I have some new and recent memories to remember. I have always loved to travel, but since Jim died, I haven’t had the opportunity until this.”
Those who know Mary can attest that even at 97, she radiates energy, and the trip boosted her mood in a way that was noticeable to everyone around her. As family members reconnected, Mary’s sense of belonging was renewed, along with that of her family’s.
“I would counsel everyone to go to extensive lengths if necessary to keep bonds with family and friends warm,” Mary said.
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